Siren's Song
by Danja
Summary: Jeannie II steals a magical horn - with disastrous consequences. FINAL CHAPTER UP! R
1. Chapter 1

**Siren's Song**

**Chapter One**

**

* * *

**

"Oh, what a delectable little trumpet," Jeannie II thought out loud to herself as she beheld the conch shell with the shiny pink interior. She sat in her lavishly-furnished bottle, admiring her prize.

_I know just the place to take it for a test-drive, _she thought contentedly to herself.

* * *

Dead center in the middle of Main Street and Central Avenue -- the geographic center of Cocoa Beach -- there suddenly appeared a fifteen-foot tall pink marble dais. At the apex of the dais sat a massive golden throne upholstered in red velvet.

On the throne sat none other than Jeannie II, dressed in green regal genie finery.

All around the dais, cars honked, drivers waved their fists and spat curses at Jeannie II for causing a traffic jam.

_So this is how the mortals live, _Jeannie II thought as she contemplated the scene from her throne. _They spend their lives going to and fro from utterly meaningless jobs, getting caught in traffic jams._

_How dull._

"HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" screamed a police officer standing before the dais. "YOU CAN'T PUT THAT THING _HERE! _YOU'RE BLOCKING TRAFFIC!"

"Buzz off, flatfoot," Jeannie II shot back dismissively. "Is this any way to treat a _GODDESS?_"

"I'LL 'GODDESS' _YOU!_" the officer screamed. Before he could act, Jeannie II blinked. The officer's knees suddenly buckled, giving way under him.

The officer was now on his knees, kneeling before Jeannie II.

"Worship me," commanded Jeannie II.

"Like Hell, I will!" the police officer barked angrily in reply.

Jeannie II smiled, put the broad end of the conch shell to her lips, and blew a single note.

* * *

All over town, the men of Cocoa Beach dropped whatever it was they were doing and proceeded _en masse_ towards Jeannie II's pink marble dais in the middle of the intersection of Main Street and Central Avenue.

Lifeguards at the beach left their watchtowers.

At restaurants all over town, chefs and cooks left their kitchens. Waiters dropped loaded serving trays and marched out the door, leaving waitresses scratching their heads.

Firefighters left their fire stations. Executives and male office workers left their desks, much to the puzzlement of their female co-workers.

* * *

At NASA, Major Anthony Nelson got up from his desk and walked out of his office. Like the rest of the men of Cocoa Beach, he too was entranced by the siren's song.

_Must … go_, he thought. _Must follow … that song._

-------

In Dr. Bellows's office, he was in the middle of dictating a letter to his uniformed secretary when he too heard the siren's song.

All at once, he got up from his desk, grabbed his jacket, and proceeded to march out the door.

"Dr. Bellows, are you all right?" the secretary asked. "Where are you going?"

"Must go," the entranced Dr. Bellows said thickly. "Must follow that song."

"WHAT song?" the secretary asked as she chased Dr. Bellows out into the hallway. "Dr. Bellows!" she shouted, trying to get his attention. "_DR. BELLOWS!_"

---------

Major Roger Healey was chatting up a pretty female airman at the water cooler when he too heard the song.

Saying nothing, he left the water cooler and marched down the hallway towards the song, deeply entranced.

"Major Healey!" the female airman cried after him, trying to get his attention. "MAJOR HEALEY!"

* * *

Jeannie II looked down from her throne at the previously enraged police officer, who was now on his knees bowing deeply before the dais.

Jeannie II blinked and disappeared. She reappeared before the bowing police officer.

Jeannie II squatted before the police officer and held his chin, lifting his face to meet hers. The officer's eyes were wide, his jaw was slack in Jeannie II's grasp.

The police officer was now deeply entranced.

"Now," Jeannie II cooed. "What was that you were saying to me?"

"Your wish ... is my command," the enthralled police officer replied thickly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two

* * *

**

Jeannie was lying on the couch in her harem outfit. Nearby, the roaring vacuum cleaner moved to and fro across the floor by itself.

All at once, there was a knock on the front door. Jeannie stood up, folded her arms in front of her chest, and blinked. The vacuum cleaner shut itself off.

_Who could this be? _Jeannie wondered.

Jeannie blinked again. Her harem outfit was now replaced by a bright yellow sun dress with stylish white sandals -- just the outfit to meet the world.

Jeannie opened the front door. Amanda Bellows pushed her way past Jeannie into the living room.

"Turn on the TV, _QUICK!_" Amanda interjected as she rushed into the living room. "Something's happening downtown!"

"Mrs. Bellows!" Jeannie exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

Before Jeannie could act, Amanda turned on the TV in the living room. There appeared on the screen a live aerial shot of Jeannie II's dais. Tens of thousands of men were now swarmed like ants around the dais.

"Men from all over the city have been congregating around this pink marble dais for the better part of an hour," intoned a (female) newscaster over the footage.

"I called NASA," said Amanda. "Alfred, Major Healey, Major Nelson … the secretary said they just got up, walked out of their offices, and left the building for no apparent reason."

"Really …" said Jeannie.

"They could very well be caught up in this madness!"

The picture on TV cut to a close-up of Jeannie II sitting on her throne.

Jeannie's stomach turned in recognition of her sister. _Oh, no …_

"The identity of this woman is unknown at this time," the newscaster continued. "She earlier proclaimed herself a quote-unquote 'goddess'."

* * *

"MEN OF COCOA BEACH, HEAR ME!" Jeannie II stood up and chanted from her throne. "I AM YOUR QUEEN AND YOUR GODDESS!

"BOW TO ME! SWEAR YOUR ALLEGIANCE TO ME!"

The crowd of men swarming the dais dropped to their knees _en masse _and -- with one voice -- cried, "ALL HAIL THE QUEEN! ALL HAIL THE GODDESS!"

* * *

"Who does this woman think she _IS?!_" Amanda fumed, outraged.

"She is neither queen nor goddess," Jeannie replied quietly.

Amanda looked at Jeannie. "You _KNOW_ this person?" she asked.

"Let us just say we have _met_ … in the _past_," Jeannie replied, taking care not to acknowledge that she was the sister of the woman who was now on TV.

"What are we _WAITING_ for?" Amanda exclaimed, a note of worry in her voice. "Let's go _DOWN_ there!"

"Are you sure this is wise?" Jeannie asked. "For all we know, this woman could be dangerous."

"Standing around here is not going to bring either _one _of our husbands back," Amanda countered.

Jeannie glanced at Amanda Bellows and nodded her head. "Agreed," she said. "Let us go."

* * *

_What a drag, _Jeannie II thought as she lay across her throne, her legs draped over one arm of the throne, surrounded by legions of enthralled men kneeling before her, fawning over her.

_Men, men, men everywhere, _Jeannie II thought with a pout. _And not _ONE _of them is of any interest to me._

An evil grin suddenly crossed her face. _Let us change that. _With a blink and magical gesture, Dr. Bellows, Major Healey, and Major Nelson all suddenly appeared kneeling before Jeannie II at her feet, each man gazing longingly at her, each man wearing a hound dog expression on their face.

_I do not know_ WHAT_ I am going to do with the old man and Fuddy Duddy's best friend, _Jeannie II thought sourly as she looked at Dr. Bellows and Major Healey.

Jeannie II sighed. _I will find a use for them _somehow, she thought. With a blink, she, her throne, Major Healey, Dr. Bellows, and Major Nelson disappeared.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three

* * *

**

"However will we find our husbands in this _CROWD?_" Amanda Bellows complained. Crowds of men from all over Cocoa Beach clogged the streets leading up to the intersection of Central Avenue and Main Street -- the heart of downtown and the location of Jeannie II's throne and dais.

"It would seem hopeless," Jeannie replied.

"I know!" said Amanda. "We'll spread out in a search pattern. We'll fan out around the perimeter and meet back here in one hour.

"That sound good to you?" Amanda asked as she turned to her right. Jeannie had disappeared.

"Mrs. Nelson?" Amanda Bellows asked the air. "Mrs. _Nelson?_"

* * *

In a nearby deserted alley, Jeannie stood with her arms folded across her chest, lost in thought.

_Wherever do I start? _Jeannie asked herself. _There are so many men … and I am but one person._

_Jeannie, _Hadji, Chief of the Genies, called to her telepathically.

Jeannie let out a gasp. "Great Hadji!" she exclaimed.

_We have a crisis on our hands, _Hadji continued. _Your sister has stolen a horn from the Sirens._

"Ancients!" Jeannie ejaculated.

_The entire city is under her spell, _said Hadji telepathically.

"I know it only affects men," said Jeannie. "But I thought it was just a legend …"

_If only it was, _said Hadji mournfully.

"Whatever can I do?"

_To break the spell, you must find the horn and _destroy_ it, _Hadji replied.

"I seek my husband," said Jeannie. "He is a prisoner of my sister's spell."

_He is not to be found where you stand, _Hadji replied cryptically.

"_Where I stand" … I presume he means downtown, _Jeannie thought. "He could be anywhere in the world!"

_Not necessarily, _Hadji replied. _The spell only affects men living within the Cocoa Beach area. If she were to leave …_

"That would mean breaking the spell," Jeannie concluded.

_Exactly, _said Hadji telepathically.

Jeannie cupped her hand around her chin, deep in thought. _My sister seeks my Master … that is a fact._

_Where is the one place she would keep him that would _REALLY _hurt__ me_? Jeannie asked herself silently. _The absolute _LAST _place anyone would think to look?_

Jeannie's eyes widened as realization dawned on her. _Oh, no …_

Jeannie folded her arms in front of her chest, blinked, and disappeared.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four

* * *

**

Jeannie II sat sideways on her throne in Major Nelson's living room, her legs draped over one of the armrests.

Major Nelson stood by Jeannie II's head, feeding her grapes from a brass bowl, as Major Healey massaged her feet. Dr. Bellows fanned Jeannie II with a giant palm frond.

This was truly The Life.

"Higher, please," commanded Jeannie II to Major Healey. "My ankles could use some work."

As Major Healey massaged Jeannie II's ankles, she let out a squeal of delight. "Ooooooh, that feels so_ GOOD!_" she exclaimed.

Jeannie suddenly appeared before Jeannie II's throne, her arms folded in front of her chest in a fighting posture.

"It is over," said Jeannie. "It is finished."

Jeannie II glanced at Jeannie. "You want your precious Major Nelson back," she cooed. She then turned to Major Nelson, Major Healey, and Dr. Bellows and commanded, "_MINIONS! SEIZE HER!_"

Major Healey, Major Nelson, and Dr. Bellows suddenly rushed towards Jeannie.

_I do not wish to harm them, _Jeannie thought as the three men suddenly loomed towards her. Thinking quickly, she blinked. The three were now frozen in place.

Jeannie II glanced up towards the mantel and found Jeannie's bottle sitting there. Jeannie II blinked. Major Nelson disappeared.

"Where is my master?" Jeannie demanded, momentarily forgetting herself. "Where is Anthony?"

"In that bottle over there," Jeannie replied sweetly as she pointed towards the bottle.

Instinctively, Jeannie blinked and transformed herself into a column of pink smoke. She then floated over to the mantel and entered the bottle.

Jeannie II quickly leaped off her throne, grabbed the cork from the mantel, and sealed the bottle.

"Works every time," Jeannie II said to herself with a chuckle. She blinked. Major Nelson reappeared before her once more.

Jeannie II then let forth with a peal of evil, ringing laughter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five

* * *

**

_What have I _DONE? Jeannie thought, panicked. _I should have known better than to enter this bottle!_

Jeannie flopped down on her couch, crestfallen. _Thanks to my stupidity, my master is now doomed! _she thought glumly.

Jeannie blinked. A transparent magical orb floated in mid-air before her. She saw within the orb a vision of Jeannie II being fawned over by Major Nelson, Major Healey, and Dr. Bellows.

An idea suddenly came to Jeannie. I _cannot leave this bottle,_ she thought. _But perhaps …

* * *

_

All at once, Jeannie suddenly appeared before Jeannie II once more.

Jeannie crossed her arms in front of her chest and said, "That was not very nice."

Jeannie II did a double-take at Jeannie, who was now standing before her. _HOW?!_

_This cannot _BE! Jeannie II thought, outraged. _How did she get out of that bottle?_

Jeannie II looked at Jeannie, who was standing before Jeannie II with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"How did you get out of that bottle?" Jeannie II snapped.

"That is _MY _secret," Jeannie replied with a smile.

Jeannie II glanced warily at the bottle. _Something is wrong, _she thought, worried.

Jeannie II glanced at Jeannie, then at the bottle, and then at Jeannie again. Her eyes widened. Her face suddenly turned pale. _This is an act against nature, _she thought. _Against everything genies are supposed to be._

_Genies are not supposed to break out of their bottles!_

Against her better judgment, Jeannie II left her throne, went over to the mantel, picked up the bottle, set it down onto a nearby table, and uncorked it.

"Sister!" Jeannie II called for Jeannie. "_SISTER! _

"Where in the name of Hadji _ARE _you?"

Jeannie II glanced over at Jeannie. SHE _is awfully quiet, _she thought as she looked at Jeannie.

TOO _quiet._

"Fine!" Jeannie II shouted at the bottle. "If YOU are not coming out, _I _am coming in!" She then folded her arms in front of her chest, blinked, transformed herself into a column of green smoke, and entered the bottle.

Jeannie -- the REAL Jeannie -- appeared next to the table and quickly corked the bottle, trapping her sister inside.

* * *

Jeannie II, now trapped in the bottle, let out a roar.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" Jeannie II bellowed, outraged.

* * *

THAT _should contain her, _Jeannie thought as she beheld the bottle, muted sounds of Jeannie II's enraged temper tantrum issuing forth from inside.

Jeannie blinked. The bottle disappeared.

Jeannie folded her arms in front of her chest and blinked again. Jeannie's silent _doppelganger_ disappeared from in front of Jeannie II's throne.

_Now to find the horn, _Jeannie thought. She cupped her palm and blinked. A small transparent magical orb appeared in her palm.

_She has no doubt hidden the horn in a _VERY _safe place, _Jeannie thought as she gazed into the orb. With a gesture, she dissolved the orb and walked over to Jeannie II's green bottle, which was sitting on a nearby end table.

Jeannie uncorked the bottle and peered inside. She set the bottle down onto the end table and blinked. The siren's horn appeared in her hand.

_It figures, _Jeannie thought.

Jeannie turned around and noticed Major Nelson, Major Healey, and Dr. Bellows being frozen in place. Just as she was about to release the three men, a thought occurred to her.

_Dr. Bellows has seen enough, _Jeannie thought as she noted his presence in the room. _Time to return him to Mrs. Bellows.

* * *

_

Amanda Bellows paced frantically up and down the downtown sidewalk, frantically searching for her husband.

"Alfred!" Amanda called out to her husband. "_ALFRED!_"

All at once, Dr. Bellows appeared before his wife, as stock-still as he was when he was at the Nelsons' house.

"ALFRED!" Amanda screamed as she embraced her frozen-in-time husband tightly.

* * *

Back at the Nelson house, Jeannie pondered the shell horn, searching for a way to destroy it once and for all.

_What shall I do about this horn? _Jeannie asked herself. _Shall I throw it into a volcano? Throw it into the sun? Send it to the bottom of the deepest sea?_

Jeannie smiled. _I know! _She then blinked. The horn was now shrunk to the size of a pea.

Jeannie took the pea-sized horn into the kitchen, placed it onto the linoleum tile floor, and ground the horn down into a powder with the toe of her shoe, destroying the horn and releasing the men of Cocoa Beach from its spell.

* * *

"Amanda," the re-animated Dr. Bellows said weakly as he embraced his wife tightly.

"Alfred, I was so worried about you!" said Amanda as she returned her husband's embrace.

"Where am I? How did I get here?" Dr. Bellows asked.

"I don't know," Amanda replied. "For want of a better term to describe it, you just … _showed up_.

"It's like you … appeared out of nowhere."

"The last thing I remember, I was at Major Nelson's house," Dr. Bellows continued. "I was fanning this strange dark-haired woman with a palm frond, Major Nelson was feeding her grapes … and then …"

"And then _WHAT?_" Amanda inquired.

"If I didn't know any better, I could've sworn that Major Nelson's wife transformed herself into a column of pink smoke," Dr. Bellows concluded.

Amanda took her husband by the arm and led him down the street. "Come along, Alfred. Let's go home," she said. "You've had a _LONG _day."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six

* * *

**

"How _DID_ you get out of that bottle?" Major Nelson asked Jeannie. She, Major Nelson, and Major Healey were gathered together in the Nelsons' living room.

"My sister released me," Jeannie replied.

"I mean … _before _that," Major Nelson countered.

"I never _LEFT_ the bottle," said Jeannie.

Major Nelson looked at Jeannie quizzically. "I don't understand …"

"I created a double … from my bottle," Jeannie explained. "What you witnessed before … was an _illusion_."

"You can _DO_ that?" Major Healey exclaimed.

Jeannie nodded. "She had no magic," she said. "She was as mortal as you or Major Nelson.

"She was but a mortal carbon copy, nothing more. A mere _image_."

"Then what _use _was she?" Major Nelson asked.

"Thanks to her, my sister did what I wanted her to do," Jeannie replied. "She piqued my sister's curiosity long enough for her to uncork the bottle …"

"And release _YOU_," said Major Nelson, finishing Jeannie's sentence.

Jeannie smiled and nodded. "I became invisible just before I escaped," she said. "She did not see me.

"When she went into the bottle to investigate further …"

"That's when you came out of hiding and trapped her," Major Healey concluded.

Jeannie smiled and nodded. "Correct," she said.

"I'm still confused," said Major Nelson. "How many times have you been trapped in your bottle before?"

"I cannot do it for very long," said Jeannie. "A few minutes at most. It ... _taxes _me.

"Even then, there was no guarantee it would have worked," Jeannie continued. "I ... took a chance."

"I'm glad it paid off," said Major Healey.

"So where's the bottle _NOW?_" Major Nelson asked.

"With Hadji," Jeannie replied.

* * *

**HADJI'S PALACE**

**DJINNISTAN****

* * *

**

Jeannie II was now a five-foot, genie-shaped pillar of salt, standing to one side of the entrance to Hadji's throne room.

_I will have my revenge, dear sister, _Jeannie II fumed as she now stood silent sentry by the doorway. _So help me, I _WILL _have it!  
_

THE END


End file.
